A day of concerns, coincidences, and comic relief

My sister Marie called me Thursday night to tell me that her husband, Don, was in the Intensive Care Unit of Brookside Hospital. Two nights before, Don had been feeling very uncomfortable and told Marie that he wanted to sleep in the chair. Don had contracted polio in his youth, but was an active man who worked his entire life to retirement age, and is strong both physically and mentally. Now in his 70’s, Don’s health has been declining. He uses oxygen, and was using it that night in the chair when he went to sleep. The next morning, when Marie got up, she found the oxygen tubes on the floor and Don, unresponsive. She called 911. Don had pneumonia and his lungs were filled with fluid. They removed the fluid, put him on antibiotics, and admitted him to ICU.

I made plans with Marie and our sister Jean to visit Don at the hospital the next morning. At 7:30 AM, Jean, who lives close to Marie, called to say that she was on her way to pick up Marie and would then head to my house, about 40 minutes away. I told Jean that I had a scheduled doctor’s appointment at 9 AM, and since I live out of the way, it would make more sense if I just met them at the hospital. Jean said that she had a doctor’s appointment, too, at 9 AM, but she cancelled it. Although I normally work Fridays, I had decided a week ago to take this Friday off, though I had no plans for the day.

After my appointment, I drove to the hospital and arrived before Jean and Marie. I waited for them and we walked into the hospital together.

My former mother-in-law, grandmother of my three boys, was in the same hospital, having been admitted a couple of days before. I stopped at the Information Desk to ask what room mom was in. Her room was on the same hospital floor as Don’s. A man stood up behind the Information Desk and said to me, “Well, aren’t you going to say hello to me?” Oh! It was Roger, a friend and former neighbor of mine. He told me he that he had been volunteering at the hospital for 10 years. I told him who we were coming to see and he said, “Well, I hope I get to see Mark (my ex-husband). That would be a real treat!”

Marie, Jean and I went upstairs to see Don. The ICU was quiet, not a lot of staff about. When we walked in to see Don, he was unresponsive.  “Not good,” said Marie. “Not good.”

Finally, staff arrived and told us that Don was sedated, but had been awake and cooperative earlier that morning. That was a relief! They said that they were going to stop the sedation and when he was awake and cooperative they would remove his oxygen tube to see if he could breathe on his own.

We stayed in the room for a few hours. Don was still sleeping but began flailing his left arm about, attempting to pull the oxygen tube out of his throat. Marie and I grabbed Don’s arm. Marie kept telling Don – “Don’t do that! You can’t do that! They’re taking very good care of you in the hospital. I know you’re uncomfortable, but the nurses have to take that out.” He was relentless. The RN came in the room and said, “If he pulls the oxygen tube out, he’ll lose his vocal cords!” She restrained his arm.

While Marie sat in the room, Jean and I went to see mom, who had been home for one week after a short stay in a rehabilitation facility. Mom’s still recovering from the effects of pneumonia from a couple of years prior. She had been doing well at home, but began feeling very weak recently. She admitted that she hadn’t been eating very much.

Although weak, Mom was her usual feisty and funny self.  “Oh, you’re a blonde now I see,” she said to Jean.

We had a really nice chat and I enjoyed listening to mom boast about her grandchildren. As we were about to leave, mom’s good friend Richard and his Vietnamese girlfriend Lee entered the room.  We chatted a while and through the course of the conversation, Jean mentioned that our brother and sister-in-law Mae, who’s also Vietnamese, live in Asheville, North Carolina. Lee mentioned that she has a lifelong friend Ying who lives in Asheville. Jean then realized that she had actually met Lee’s friend, Ying, through Mae!  Jean and Lee exchanged contact information and made arrangements to get together in a few weeks when Ying would be coming to Massachusetts for a visit.

Jean and I returned to Don’s room. Marie said that Don was now in a deep sleep, having worn himself out in his attempts to pull out his tube with his restrained arm. The nurses arrived and told us that Don was not ready to have the oxygen removed quite yet, they would wait. Perhaps they would need to hold off until tomorrow. They needed to tend to Don, and asked us to leave the room, although they told Marie that she could stay if she wanted to. Marie said that no, she’d rather not watch.  We considered sitting in the waiting room, and the nurse said she would call us when they finished, but, we decided to get some lunch and come back.

My sisters and I left the hospital, and we took my car to Panera, just up the street.  When we entered the restaurant, there was a group of adorable little children, all wearing chef’s hats, waiting in a line to learn how to bake bread.  So cute! 

My sisters and I ordered the same thing - tuna sandwiches – and enjoyed our lunch together.

Heading back, as I turned into the hospital entrance, Marie said, “Where are you going?”

“I thought we were going back to see Don?!” I said, as Jean and I looked at each other.

“What?! No! I don’t want to go to the hospital. I want to go home! I’m tired!” said Marie.

“Oh, ok then,” I said. “Jean has her car here anyway, Marie, and she’ll drive you back home.”

We parted ways. The rest of the day, Jean and I kept in touch with one another and we also contacted our relatives and friends. We talked about Marie, and about our nephews -  Marie & Don's sons, who've planned their vacations, and have much to look forward to in their busy lives with their young families.

I reflected on the incredible day of coincidences, of humor amidst suffering, and just how true it is that life, indeed, goes on.